I really want to put up a fence in the backyard to hide that blight that is the mess behind the garage. Of course, Bethany is one of those types to veto everything. I spoke with my neighbor yesterday and told her that I wanted to do something about the fact that all we can see is the mess that the neighbors have back there. I asked if she would mind if I did something to hide it; she said she had no issue with it. I’m going to do something back there, at least, something that can be expanded on later. I’ll grab a couple of sections of lattice work later this afternoon, along with some plywood, a few posts, and the 2x10x8s for the last box in the yard. This will help finish up that area in the yard considerably. The walkway leading to the driveway is pretty much done; last night at Home Depot they were restocking and I didn’t have time to wait for them to get out of the way so I could get the polymetric sand.

Today, classes start at the Christian college. I have four courses there, and four courses at QC, and as a result I feel a little more confident that everything will go well this semester. My meltdown a few days ago was only temporary, but I noticed it didn’t take long for B to go back to her constant talking about everyone else’s problems. She doesn’t have a problem with me transitioning but hates my breasts, which I love. I’m going to send out the request for medical records again and see what can take place from there. I’m going to have to call and talk to someone about this, since they are archived.
I was just thinking about this earlier while I was running on the elliptical. When I was a kid I used to have this dream, a reoccurring one, where I had this black cloud that followed me around any time I went out of the house. I am not entirely sure exactly what it did, but this sense of imminent doom seemed to plague me as a child. Could this have meant that any time I went outside I could not be my authentic self? It is an interesting theory, and while I will likely never know, there is a great deal of my life that is up in the air right now. I told my wife that I have been prescribed two patches rather than one; I told her that I was going to wait to start taking them until after she was done with her surgery, but with her surgery done there is little left to stop me from starting them. We talked a bit about how she is always asking me if I am angry at her, which I have now finally begun to understand: I asked my mother if she were angry a lot, and I can only imagine how angry she eventually got. Not only that, but I think Bethany has an issue with anger besides her own: I tried explaining that frustration is a natural thing, as are other emotions, at which point she explained she’d asked me if I could do the two pictures on the wall, and I had said yes. I explained that any project has its setbacks, and to assume that everything will automatically go smoothly is absurd. She still disagrees, but at least I left for work this afternoon in a better mood and it seems we parted on loving terms.



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