Jun. 19th, 2017

Yesterday I went to my cousin Ryan’s 30h birthday party. It was fun, mostly hors d’oeuvres (had to look up the spelling of that one!), and there were a few people there playing in a band. Really it was just two guys with acoustics, but they were really good. I guess the rest of the band was there as well, sort of a motley crew, and I was a bit surprised that Ryan would be hanging around with kids these young. In any event, I went, mingled, had some fun, and departed. I guess because the whole thing was on Father’s Day there wasn’t that many people. I bowed out early, especially considering that everyone there were smokers and I wasn’t. I stopped in at the little barn across the street (the whole thing was at the Fire or something tavern in Newburyport) and looked around. It was so hot I had to leave, because the smell of sweaty guys was so overpowering. Speaking of smells, I have noticed a distinct but different odor coming from my body; I am wondering if my deodorant is no longer smelling good to me and I will need something else. I will have to look it up.
I divided some of the shrubs that I got off CL yesterday; these are the ones I’ve installed around the cherry tree near the porch. I trimmed off some of the dead branches because there is new growth there and I want to make sure that I keep them alive. Not sure what kind they are, perhaps holly? I know they are evergreens. I planted about twelve butterfly bushes a few days ago, and they are different colors. I planted in the following order: dark blue, blue, pink, white, white, pink, blue, dark blue. The same colors as the transgender pride flag, which is my way of resisting without being too obvious.
While I cannot live in the past, I obviously still think quite a bit about my parents. Would they like the changes to the house? Part of me thinks: who cares? I don’t, since they are not alive anymore, but there’s a part that wishes that they would have been more proud of me for what I’ve accomplished in this life.
Today I have a bunch of stuff to do, so I will likely post again later…

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